A mutual friend of mine and Karl's, (I met him through Karl,) has a 'gender disassociation', as I'd been calling it. He wishes he was a girl. He's not gay, because he doesn't like the 'penis on penis action', as he puts it, so it's not that easy for him. Well, things came to a head today, with his mother pretty much kicking him out, his Dad denying that there's a problem, and the friend saying about his disassociation that "I either fix this. Or I die."
Karl is at his house now, forcing him to come over to spend the night.
I'm not sure how to help the friend, so I googled for what it was exactly that I'd been calling 'gender disassociation,' and got really angry when I found out it was called 'Gender Identity Disorder.' No one has the right to call it a disorder. There is nothing wrong with the people who think or wish they were the other gender- they just happen to be different physically than what they are mentally. It made me even angrier that there wasn't anything on like how to help them, or give support, or anything. It was all about how it had to be 'treated' at a young age in order to avoid future problems, and that counselling what recommended and that some got a sex change but there were long lasting problems with this later on.
If I were to google helping a gay or lesbian, there would be a gazillion articles on how discriminating against them is evil and how to help your friend/kid/whatever come out, etc, but NO ONE has written anything on how to help someone who's having a much harder time of it because they feel 'wrong' in their own body, disgusted by it, or feeling like they can never have a relationship with someone because they have the 'wrong parts'? There's something seriously wrong with that.
I'm going to just do what I can to help him, and hope I don't cause any more damage. His job doesn't give him any hours any more, his car belongs to his parents, and he still has to finish the semester of school. I don't see anything wrong with letting him crash at my place since he feels he's a girl, and if he can't find anywhere else to go (all his other friends live at home with their parents, so that might be problematic if he stayed there,), there are plenty of places to get jobs around here, and the bus station is close(ish) to get to school. My parents will probably not be too pleased, but I think I could talk my mother over. But that's all possibilities.
In all honesty, I kinda want to go clothes shopping with him and pick out some dresses and skirts and stuff for him. Sex changes are expensive, and apparently have a lot of on-going after effects, but if we can help him out a bit at a time, maybe it'll last him for now.
I want to help him, I just wish I knew how.
(I referred to him as a he, since he hasn't really asked to be referred to as 'she', even though I've slipped up in casual conversation and said as much.)
